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ACT I, SCENE I.

Before LEONATO'S house.

Enter LEONATO, HERO, and BEATRICE, with a Messenger

LEONATO
001: I learn in this letter that Don Peter of Arragon
002: comes this night to Messina.

Messenger
003: He is very near by this: he was not three leagues off
004: when I left him.

LEONATO
005: How many gentlemen have you lost in this action?

Messenger
006: But few of any sort, and none of name.

LEONATO
007: A victory is twice itself when the achiever brings
008: home full numbers. I find here that Don Peter hath
009: bestowed much honour on a young Florentine called Claudio.

Messenger
010: Much deserved on his part and equally remembered by
011: Don Pedro: he hath borne himself beyond the
012: promise of his age, doing, in the figure of a lamb,
013: the feats of a lion: he hath indeed better
014: bettered expectation than you must expect of me to
015: tell you how.

LEONATO
016: He hath an uncle here in Messina will be very much
017: glad of it.

Messenger
018: I have already delivered him letters, and there
019: appears much joy in him; even so much that joy could
020: not show itself modest enough without a badge of
021: bitterness.

LEONATO
022: Did he break out into tears?

Messenger
023: In great measure.

LEONATO
024: A kind overflow of kindness: there are no faces
025: truer than those that are so washed. How much
026: better is it to weep at joy than to joy at weeping!

BEATRICE
027: I pray you, is Signior Mountanto returned from the
028: wars or no?

Messenger
029: I know none of that name, lady: there was none such
030: in the army of any sort.

LEONATO
031: What is he that you ask for, niece?

HERO
032: My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.

Messenger
033: O, he's returned; and as pleasant as ever he was.

BEATRICE
034: He set up his bills here in Messina and challenged
035: Cupid at the flight; and my uncle's fool, reading
036: the challenge, subscribed for Cupid, and challenged
037: him at the bird-bolt. I pray you, how many hath he
038: killed and eaten in these wars? But how many hath
039: he killed? for indeed I promised to eat all of his killing.

LEONATO
040: Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much;
041: but he'll be meet with you, I doubt it not.

Messenger
042: He hath done good service, lady, in these wars.

BEATRICE
043: You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it:
044: he is a very valiant trencherman; he hath an
045: excellent stomach.

Messenger
046: And a good soldier too, lady.

BEATRICE
047: And a good soldier to a lady: but what is he to a lord?

Messenger
048: A lord to a lord, a man to a man; stuffed with all
049: honourable virtues.

BEATRICE
050: It is so, indeed; he is no less than a stuffed man:
051: but for the stuffing,--well, we are all mortal.

LEONATO
052: You must not, sir, mistake my niece. There is a
053: kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick and her:
054: they never meet but there's a skirmish of wit
055: between them.

BEATRICE
056: Alas! he gets nothing by that. In our last
057: conflict four of his five wits went halting off, and
058: now is the whole man governed with one: so that if
059: he have wit enough to keep himself warm, let him
060: bear it for a difference between himself and his
061: horse; for it is all the wealth that he hath left,
062: to be known a reasonable creature. Who is his
063: companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.

Messenger
064: Is't possible?

BEATRICE
065: Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as
066: the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the
067: next block.

Messenger
068: I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books.

BEATRICE
069: No; an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray
070: you, who is his companion? Is there no young
071: squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?

Messenger
072: He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.

BEATRICE
073: O Lord, he will hang upon him like a disease: he
074: is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker
075: runs presently mad. God help the noble Claudio! if
076: he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a
077: thousand pound ere a' be cured.

Messenger
078: I will hold friends with you, lady.

BEATRICE
079: Do, good friend.

LEONATO
080: You will never run mad, niece.

BEATRICE
081: No, not till a hot January.

Messenger
082: Don Pedro is approached.

Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and BALTHASAR

DON PEDRO
083: Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your
084: trouble: the fashion of the world is to avoid
085: cost, and you encounter it.

LEONATO
086: Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of
087: your grace: for trouble being gone, comfort should
088: remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides
089: and happiness takes his leave.

DON PEDRO
090: You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this
091: is your daughter.

LEONATO
092: Her mother hath many times told me so.

BENEDICK
093: Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her?

LEONATO
094: Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child.

DON PEDRO
095: You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this
096: what you are, being a man. Truly, the lady fathers
097: herself. Be happy, lady; for you are like an
098: honourable father.

BENEDICK
099: If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not
100: have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as
101: like him as she is.

BEATRICE
102: I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior
103: Benedick: nobody marks you.

BENEDICK
104: What, my dear Lady Disdain! are you yet living?

BEATRICE
105: Is it possible disdain should die while she hath
106: such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick?
107: Courtesy itself must convert to disdain, if you come
108: in her presence.

BENEDICK
109: Then is courtesy a turncoat. But it is certain I
110: am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I
111: would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard
112: heart; for, truly, I love none.

BEATRICE
113: A dear happiness to women: they would else have
114: been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank God
115: and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that: I
116: had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man
117: swear he loves me.

BENEDICK
118: God keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some
119: gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate
120: scratched face.

BEATRICE
121: Scratching could not make it worse, an 'twere such
122: a face as yours were.

BENEDICK
123: Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher.

BEATRICE
124: A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.

BENEDICK
125: I would my horse had the speed of your tongue, and
126: so good a continuer. But keep your way, i' God's
127: name; I have done.

BEATRICE
128: You always end with a jade's trick: I know you of old.

DON PEDRO
129: That is the sum of all, Leonato. Signior Claudio
130: and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath
131: invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at
132: the least a month; and he heartily prays some
133: occasion may detain us longer. I dare swear he is no
134: hypocrite, but prays from his heart.

LEONATO
135: If you swear, my lord, you shall not be forsworn.
[To DON JOHN]
136: Let me bid you welcome, my lord: being reconciled to
137: the prince your brother, I owe you all duty.

DON JOHN
138: I thank you: I am not of many words, but I thank
139: you.

LEONATO
140: Please it your grace lead on?

DON PEDRO
141: Your hand, Leonato; we will go together.

Exeunt all except BENEDICK and CLAUDIO

CLAUDIO
142: Benedick, didst thou note the daughter of Signior Leonato?

BENEDICK
143: I noted her not; but I looked on her.

CLAUDIO
144: Is she not a modest young lady?

BENEDICK
145: Do you question me, as an honest man should do, for
146: my simple true judgment; or would you have me speak
147: after my custom, as being a professed tyrant to their sex?

CLAUDIO
148: No; I pray thee speak in sober judgment.

BENEDICK
149: Why, i' faith, methinks she's too low for a high
150: praise, too brown for a fair praise and too little
151: for a great praise: only this commendation I can
152: afford her, that were she other than she is, she
153: were unhandsome; and being no other but as she is, I
154: do not like her.

CLAUDIO
155: Thou thinkest I am in sport: I pray thee tell me
156: truly how thou likest her.

BENEDICK
157: Would you buy her, that you inquire after her?

CLAUDIO
158: Can the world buy such a jewel?

BENEDICK
159: Yea, and a case to put it into. But speak you this
160: with a sad brow? or do you play the flouting Jack,
161: to tell us Cupid is a good hare-finder and Vulcan a
162: rare carpenter? Come, in what key shall a man take
163: you, to go in the song?

CLAUDIO
164: In mine eye she is the sweetest lady that ever I
165: looked on.

BENEDICK
166: I can see yet without spectacles and I see no such
167: matter: there's her cousin, an she were not
168: possessed with a fury, exceeds her as much in beauty
169: as the first of May doth the last of December. But I
170: hope you have no intent to turn husband, have you?

CLAUDIO
171: I would scarce trust myself, though I had sworn the
172: contrary, if Hero would be my wife.

BENEDICK
173: Is't come to this? In faith, hath not the world
174: one man but he will wear his cap with suspicion?
175: Shall I never see a bachelor of three-score again?
176: Go to, i' faith; an thou wilt needs thrust thy neck
177: into a yoke, wear the print of it and sigh away
178: Sundays. Look Don Pedro is returned to seek you.

Re-enter DON PEDRO

DON PEDRO
179: What secret hath held you here, that you followed
180: not to Leonato's?

BENEDICK
181: I would your grace would constrain me to tell.

DON PEDRO
182: I charge thee on thy allegiance.

BENEDICK
183: You hear, Count Claudio: I can be secret as a dumb
184: man; I would have you think so; but, on my
185: allegiance, mark you this, on my allegiance. He is
186: in love. With who? now that is your grace's part.
187: Mark how short his answer is;--With Hero, Leonato's
188: short daughter.

CLAUDIO
189: If this were so, so were it uttered.

BENEDICK
190: Like the old tale, my lord: 'it is not so, nor
191: 'twas not so, but, indeed, God forbid it should be
192: so.'

CLAUDIO
193: If my passion change not shortly, God forbid it
194: should be otherwise.

DON PEDRO
195: Amen, if you love her; for the lady is very well worthy.

CLAUDIO
196: You speak this to fetch me in, my lord.

DON PEDRO
197: By my troth, I speak my thought.

CLAUDIO
198: And, in faith, my lord, I spoke mine.

BENEDICK
199: And, by my two faiths and troths, my lord, I spoke mine.

CLAUDIO
200: That I love her, I feel.

DON PEDRO
201: That she is worthy, I know.

BENEDICK
202: That I neither feel how she should be loved nor
203: know how she should be worthy, is the opinion that
204: fire cannot melt out of me: I will die in it at the stake.

DON PEDRO
205: Thou wast ever an obstinate heretic in the despite
206: of beauty.

CLAUDIO
207: And never could maintain his part but in the force
208: of his will.

BENEDICK
209: That a woman conceived me, I thank her; that she
210: brought me up, I likewise give her most humble
211: thanks: but that I will have a recheat winded in my
212: forehead, or hang my bugle in an invisible baldrick,
213: all women shall pardon me. Because I will not do
214: them the wrong to mistrust any, I will do myself the
215: right to trust none; and the fine is, for the which
216: I may go the finer, I will live a bachelor.

DON PEDRO
217: I shall see thee, ere I die, look pale with love.

BENEDICK
218: With anger, with sickness, or with hunger, my lord,
219: not with love: prove that ever I lose more blood
220: with love than I will get again with drinking, pick
221: out mine eyes with a ballad-maker's pen and hang me
222: up at the door of a brothel-house for the sign of
223: blind Cupid.

DON PEDRO
224: Well, if ever thou dost fall from this faith, thou
225: wilt prove a notable argument.

BENEDICK
226: If I do, hang me in a bottle like a cat and shoot
227: at me; and he that hits me, let him be clapped on
228: the shoulder, and called Adam.

DON PEDRO
229: Well, as time shall try: 'In time the savage bull
230: doth bear the yoke.'

BENEDICK
231: The savage bull may; but if ever the sensible
232: Benedick bear it, pluck off the bull's horns and set
233: them in my forehead: and let me be vilely painted,
234: and in such great letters as they write 'Here is
235: good horse to hire,' let them signify under my sign
236: 'Here you may see Benedick the married man.'

CLAUDIO
237: If this should ever happen, thou wouldst be horn-mad.

DON PEDRO
238: Nay, if Cupid have not spent all his quiver in
239: Venice, thou wilt quake for this shortly.

BENEDICK
240: I look for an earthquake too, then.

DON PEDRO
241: Well, you temporize with the hours. In the
242: meantime, good Signior Benedick, repair to
243: Leonato's: commend me to him and tell him I will
244: not fail him at supper; for indeed he hath made
245: great preparation.

BENEDICK
246: I have almost matter enough in me for such an
247: embassage; and so I commit you--

CLAUDIO
248: To the tuition of God: From my house, if I had it,--

DON PEDRO
249: The sixth of July: Your loving friend, Benedick.

BENEDICK
250: Nay, mock not, mock not. The body of your
251: discourse is sometime guarded with fragments, and
252: the guards are but slightly basted on neither: ere
253: you flout old ends any further, examine your
254: conscience: and so I leave you.

Exit

CLAUDIO
255: My liege, your highness now may do me good.

DON PEDRO
256: My love is thine to teach: teach it but how,
257: And thou shalt see how apt it is to learn
258: Any hard lesson that may do thee good.

CLAUDIO
259: Hath Leonato any son, my lord?

DON PEDRO
260: No child but Hero; she's his only heir.
261: Dost thou affect her, Claudio?

CLAUDIO
262: O, my lord,
263: When you went onward on this ended action,
264: I look'd upon her with a soldier's eye,
265: That liked, but had a rougher task in hand
266: Than to drive liking to the name of love:
267: But now I am return'd and that war-thoughts
268: Have left their places vacant, in their rooms
269: Come thronging soft and delicate desires,
270: All prompting me how fair young Hero is,
271: Saying, I liked her ere I went to wars.

DON PEDRO
272: Thou wilt be like a lover presently
273: And tire the hearer with a book of words.
274: If thou dost love fair Hero, cherish it,
275: And I will break with her and with her father,
276: And thou shalt have her. Was't not to this end
277: That thou began'st to twist so fine a story?

CLAUDIO
278: How sweetly you do minister to love,
279: That know love's grief by his complexion!
280: But lest my liking might too sudden seem,
281: I would have salved it with a longer treatise.

DON PEDRO
282: What need the bridge much broader than the flood?
283: The fairest grant is the necessity.
284: Look, what will serve is fit: 'tis once, thou lovest,
285: And I will fit thee with the remedy.
286: I know we shall have revelling to-night:
287: I will assume thy part in some disguise
288: And tell fair Hero I am Claudio,
289: And in her bosom I'll unclasp my heart
290: And take her hearing prisoner with the force
291: And strong encounter of my amorous tale:
292: Then after to her father will I break;
293: And the conclusion is, she shall be thine.
294: In practise let us put it presently.

Exeunt

ACT I, SCENE II.

A room in LEONATO's house.

Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, meeting

LEONATO
001: How now, brother! Where is my cousin, your son?
002: hath he provided this music?

ANTONIO
003: He is very busy about it. But, brother, I can tell
004: you strange news that you yet dreamt not of.

LEONATO
005: Are they good?

ANTONIO
006: As the event stamps them: but they have a good
007: cover; they show well outward. The prince and Count
008: Claudio, walking in a thick-pleached alley in mine
009: orchard, were thus much overheard by a man of mine:
010: the prince discovered to Claudio that he loved my
011: niece your daughter and meant to acknowledge it
012: this night in a dance: and if he found her
013: accordant, he meant to take the present time by the
014: top and instantly break with you of it.

LEONATO
015: Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?

ANTONIO
016: A good sharp fellow: I will send for him; and
017: question him yourself.

LEONATO
018: No, no; we will hold it as a dream till it appear
019: itself: but I will acquaint my daughter withal,
020: that she may be the better prepared for an answer,
021: if peradventure this be true. Go you and tell her of it.
[Enter Attendants]
022: Cousins, you know what you have to do. O, I cry you
023: mercy, friend; go you with me, and I will use your
024: skill. Good cousin, have a care this busy time.

Exeunt

ACT I, SCENE III.

The same.

Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE

CONRADE
001: What the good-year, my lord! why are you thus out
002: of measure sad?

DON JOHN
003: There is no measure in the occasion that breeds;
004: therefore the sadness is without limit.

CONRADE
005: You should hear reason.

DON JOHN
006: And when I have heard it, what blessing brings it?

CONRADE
007: If not a present remedy, at least a patient
008: sufferance.

DON JOHN
009: I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art,
010: born under Saturn, goest about to apply a moral
011: medicine to a mortifying mischief. I cannot hide
012: what I am: I must be sad when I have cause and smile
013: at no man's jests, eat when I have stomach and wait
014: for no man's leisure, sleep when I am drowsy and
015: tend on no man's business, laugh when I am merry and
016: claw no man in his humour.

CONRADE
017: Yea, but you must not make the full show of this
018: till you may do it without controlment. You have of
019: late stood out against your brother, and he hath
020: ta'en you newly into his grace; where it is
021: impossible you should take true root but by the
022: fair weather that you make yourself: it is needful
023: that you frame the season for your own harvest.

DON JOHN
024: I had rather be a canker in a hedge than a rose in
025: his grace, and it better fits my blood to be
026: disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob
027: love from any: in this, though I cannot be said to
028: be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied
029: but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with
030: a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I
031: have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had my
032: mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do
033: my liking: in the meantime let me be that I am and
034: seek not to alter me.

CONRADE
035: Can you make no use of your discontent?

DON JOHN
036: I make all use of it, for I use it only.
037: Who comes here?
[Enter BORACHIO]
038: What news, Borachio?

BORACHIO
039: I came yonder from a great supper: the prince your
040: brother is royally entertained by Leonato: and I
041: can give you intelligence of an intended marriage.

DON JOHN
042: Will it serve for any model to build mischief on?
043: What is he for a fool that betroths himself to
044: unquietness?

BORACHIO
045: Marry, it is your brother's right hand.

DON JOHN
046: Who? the most exquisite Claudio?

BORACHIO
047: Even he.

DON JOHN
048: A proper squire! And who, and who? which way looks
049: he?

BORACHIO
050: Marry, on Hero, the daughter and heir of Leonato.

DON JOHN
051: A very forward March-chick! How came you to this?

BORACHIO
052: Being entertained for a perfumer, as I was smoking a
053: musty room, comes me the prince and Claudio, hand
054: in hand in sad conference: I whipt me behind the
055: arras; and there heard it agreed upon that the
056: prince should woo Hero for himself, and having
057: obtained her, give her to Count Claudio.

DON JOHN
058: Come, come, let us thither: this may prove food to
059: my displeasure. That young start-up hath all the
060: glory of my overthrow: if I can cross him any way, I
061: bless myself every way. You are both sure, and will assist me?

CONRADE
062: To the death, my lord.

DON JOHN
063: Let us to the great supper: their cheer is the
064: greater that I am subdued. Would the cook were of
065: my mind! Shall we go prove what's to be done?

BORACHIO
066: We'll wait upon your lordship.

Exeunt

ACT II, SCENE I.

A hall in LEONATO'S house.

Enter LEONATO, ANTONIO, HERO, BEATRICE, and others

LEONATO
001: Was not Count John here at supper?

ANTONIO
002: I saw him not.

BEATRICE
003: How tartly that gentleman looks! I never can see
004: him but I am heart-burned an hour after.

HERO
005: He is of a very melancholy disposition.

BEATRICE
006: He were an excellent man that were made just in the
007: midway between him and Benedick: the one is too
008: like an image and says nothing, and the other too
009: like my lady's eldest son, evermore tattling.

LEONATO
010: Then half Signior Benedick's tongue in Count John's
011: mouth, and half Count John's melancholy in Signior
012: Benedick's face,--

BEATRICE
013: With a good leg and a good foot, uncle, and money
014: enough in his purse, such a man would win any woman
015: in the world, if a' could get her good-will.

LEONATO
016: By my troth, niece, thou wilt never get thee a
017: husband, if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue.

ANTONIO
018: In faith, she's too curst.

BEATRICE
019: Too curst is more than curst: I shall lessen God's
020: sending that way; for it is said, 'God sends a curst
021: cow short horns;' but to a cow too curst he sends none.

LEONATO
022: So, by being too curst, God will send you no horns.

BEATRICE
023: Just, if he send me no husband; for the which
024: blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and
025: evening. Lord, I could not endure a husband with a
026: beard on his face: I had rather lie in the woollen.

LEONATO
027: You may light on a husband that hath no beard.

BEATRICE
028: What should I do with him? dress him in my apparel
029: and make him my waiting-gentlewoman? He that hath a
030: beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no
031: beard is less than a man: and he that is more than
032: a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a
033: man, I am not for him: therefore, I will even take
034: sixpence in earnest of the bear-ward, and lead his
035: apes into hell.

LEONATO
036: Well, then, go you into hell?

BEATRICE
037: No, but to the gate; and there will the devil meet
038: me, like an old cuckold, with horns on his head, and
039: say 'Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to
040: heaven; here's no place for you maids:' so deliver
041: I up my apes, and away to Saint Peter for the
042: heavens; he shows me where the bachelors sit, and
043: there live we as merry as the day is long.

ANTONIO [To HERO]
044: Well, niece, I trust you will be ruled
045: by your father.

BEATRICE
046: Yes, faith; it is my cousin's duty to make curtsy
047: and say 'Father, as it please you.' But yet for all
048: that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else
049: make another curtsy and say 'Father, as it please
050: me.'

LEONATO
051: Well, niece, I hope to see you one day fitted with a husband.

BEATRICE
052: Not till God make men of some other metal than
053: earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be
054: overmastered with a pierce of valiant dust? to make
055: an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl?
056: No, uncle, I'll none: Adam's sons are my brethren;
057: and, truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred.

LEONATO
058: Daughter, remember what I told you: if the prince
059: do solicit you in that kind, you know your answer.

BEATRICE
060: The fault will be in the music, cousin, if you be
061: not wooed in good time: if the prince be too
062: important, tell him there is measure in every thing
063: and so dance out the answer. For, hear me, Hero:
064: wooing, wedding, and repenting, is as a Scotch jig,
065: a measure, and a cinque pace: the first suit is hot
066: and hasty, like a Scotch jig, and full as
067: fantastical; the wedding, mannerly-modest, as a
068: measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes
069: repentance and, with his bad legs, falls into the
070: cinque pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave.

LEONATO
071: Cousin, you apprehend passing shrewdly.

BEATRICE
072: I have a good eye, uncle; I can see a church by daylight.

LEONATO
073: The revellers are entering, brother: make good room.

All put on their masks

Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, BALTHASAR, DON JOHN, BORACHIO, MARGARET, URSULA and others, masked

DON PEDRO
074: Lady, will you walk about with your friend?

HERO
075: So you walk softly and look sweetly and say nothing,
076: I am yours for the walk; and especially when I walk away.

DON PEDRO
077: With me in your company?

HERO
078: I may say so, when I please.

DON PEDRO
079: And when please you to say so?

HERO
080: When I like your favour; for God defend the lute
081: should be like the case!

DON PEDRO
082: My visor is Philemon's roof; within the house is Jove.

HERO
083: Why, then, your visor should be thatched.

DON PEDRO
084: Speak low, if you speak love.

Drawing her aside

BALTHASAR
085: Well, I would you did like me.

MARGARET
086: So would not I, for your own sake; for I have many
087: ill-qualities.

BALTHASAR
088: Which is one?

MARGARET
089: I say my prayers aloud.

BALTHASAR
090: I love you the better: the hearers may cry, Amen.

MARGARET
091: God match me with a good dancer!

BALTHASAR
092: Amen.

MARGARET
093: And God keep him out of my sight when the dance is
094: done! Answer, clerk.

BALTHASAR
095: No more words: the clerk is answered.

URSULA
096: I know you well enough; you are Signior Antonio.

ANTONIO
097: At a word, I am not.

URSULA
098: I know you by the waggling of your head.

ANTONIO
099: To tell you true, I counterfeit him.

URSULA
100: You could never do him so ill-well, unless you were
101: the very man. Here's his dry hand up and down: you
102: are he, you are he.

ANTONIO
103: At a word, I am not.

URSULA
104: Come, come, do you think I do not know you by your
105: excellent wit? can virtue hide itself? Go to,
106: mum, you are he: graces will appear, and there's an
107: end.

BEATRICE
108: Will you not tell me who told you so?

BENEDICK
109: No, you shall pardon me.

BEATRICE
110: Nor will you not tell me who you are?

BENEDICK
111: Not now.

BEATRICE
112: That I was disdainful, and that I had my good wit
113: out of the 'Hundred Merry Tales:'--well this was
114: Signior Benedick that said so.

BENEDICK
115: What's he?

BEATRICE
116: I am sure you know him well enough.

BENEDICK
117: Not I, believe me.

BEATRICE
118: Did he never make you laugh?

BENEDICK
119: I pray you, what is he?

BEATRICE
120: Why, he is the prince's jester: a very dull fool;
121: only his gift is in devising impossible slanders:
122: none but libertines delight in him; and the
123: commendation is not in his wit, but in his villany;
124: for he both pleases men and angers them, and then
125: they laugh at him and beat him. I am sure he is in
126: the fleet: I would he had boarded me.

BENEDICK
127: When I know the gentleman, I'll tell him what you say.

BEATRICE
128: Do, do: he'll but break a comparison or two on me;
129: which, peradventure not marked or not laughed at,
130: strikes him into melancholy; and then there's a
131: partridge wing saved, for the fool will eat no
132: supper that night.
[Music]
133: We must follow the leaders.

BENEDICK
134: In every good thing.

BEATRICE
135: Nay, if they lead to any ill, I will leave them at
136: the next turning.

Dance. Then exeunt all except DON JOHN, BORACHIO, and CLAUDIO

DON JOHN
137: Sure my brother is amorous on Hero and hath
138: withdrawn her father to break with him about it.
139: The ladies follow her and but one visor remains.

BORACHIO
140: And that is Claudio: I know him by his bearing.

DON JOHN
141: Are not you Signior Benedick?

CLAUDIO
142: You know me well; I am he.

DON JOHN
143: Signior, you are very near my brother in his love:
144: he is enamoured on Hero; I pray you, dissuade him
145: from her: she is no equal for his birth: you may
146: do the part of an honest man in it.

CLAUDIO
147: How know you he loves her?

DON JOHN
148: I heard him swear his affection.

BORACHIO
149: So did I too; and he swore he would marry her to-night.

DON JOHN
150: Come, let us to the banquet.

Exeunt DON JOHN and BORACHIO

CLAUDIO
151: Thus answer I in the name of Benedick,
152: But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio.
153: 'Tis certain so; the prince wooes for himself.
154: Friendship is constant in all other things
155: Save in the office and affairs of love:
156: Therefore, all hearts in love use their own tongues;
157: Let every eye negotiate for itself
158: And trust no agent; for beauty is a witch
159: Against whose charms faith melteth into blood.
160: This is an accident of hourly proof,
161: Which I mistrusted not. Farewell, therefore, Hero!

Re-enter BENEDICK

BENEDICK
162: Count Claudio?

CLAUDIO
163: Yea, the same.

BENEDICK
164: Come, will you go with me?

CLAUDIO
165: Whither?

BENEDICK
166: Even to the next willow, about your own business,
167: county. What fashion will you wear the garland of?
168: about your neck, like an usurer's chain? or under
169: your arm, like a lieutenant's scarf? You must wear
170: it one way, for the prince hath got your Hero.

CLAUDIO
171: I wish him joy of her.

BENEDICK
172: Why, that's spoken like an honest drovier: so they
173: sell bullocks. But did you think the prince would
174: have served you thus?

CLAUDIO
175: I pray you, leave me.

BENEDICK
176: Ho! now you strike like the blind man: 'twas the
177: boy that stole your meat, and you'll beat the post.

CLAUDIO
178: If it will not be, I'll leave you.

Exit

BENEDICK
179: Alas, poor hurt fowl! now will he creep into sedges.
180: But that my Lady Beatrice should know me, and not
181: know me! The prince's fool! Ha? It may be I go
182: under that title because I am merry. Yea, but so I