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ACT I, SCENE I.

Windsor. Before PAGE's house.

Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS

SHALLOW
001: Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-
002: chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John
003: Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

SLENDER
004: In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and
005: 'Coram.'

SHALLOW
006: Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum.

SLENDER
007: Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born,
008: master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any
009: bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.'

SHALLOW
010: Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three
011: hundred years.

SLENDER
012: All his successors gone before him hath done't; and
013: all his ancestors that come after him may: they may
014: give the dozen white luces in their coat.

SHALLOW
015: It is an old coat.

SIR HUGH EVANS
016: The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;
017: it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to
018: man, and signifies love.

SHALLOW
019: The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat.

SLENDER
020: I may quarter, coz.

SHALLOW
021: You may, by marrying.

SIR HUGH EVANS
022: It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.

SHALLOW
023: Not a whit.

SIR HUGH EVANS
024: Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat,
025: there is but three skirts for yourself, in my
026: simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir
027: John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto
028: you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my
029: benevolence to make atonements and compremises
030: between you.

SHALLOW
031: The council shall bear it; it is a riot.

SIR HUGH EVANS
032: It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no
033: fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall
034: desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a
035: riot; take your vizaments in that.

SHALLOW
036: Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword
037: should end it.

SIR HUGH EVANS
038: It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:
039: and there is also another device in my prain, which
040: peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there
041: is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas
042: Page, which is pretty virginity.

SLENDER
043: Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks
044: small like a woman.

SIR HUGH EVANS
045: It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as
046: you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,
047: and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his
048: death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!
049: --give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years
050: old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles
051: and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master
052: Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.

SLENDER
053: Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?

SIR HUGH EVANS
054: Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.

SLENDER
055: I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.

SIR HUGH EVANS
056: Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts.

SHALLOW
057: Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?

SIR HUGH EVANS
058: Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do
059: despise one that is false, or as I despise one that
060: is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I
061: beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will
062: peat the door for Master Page.
[Knocks]
063: What, hoa! Got pless your house here!

PAGE
064: [Within] Who's there?

Enter PAGE

SIR HUGH EVANS
065: Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice
066: Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that
067: peradventures shall tell you another tale, if
068: matters grow to your likings.

PAGE
069: I am glad to see your worships well.
070: I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow.

SHALLOW
071: Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it
072: your good heart! I wished your venison better; it
073: was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I
074: thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart.

PAGE
075: Sir, I thank you.

SHALLOW
076: Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.

PAGE
077: I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.

SLENDER
078: How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he
079: was outrun on Cotsall.

PAGE
080: It could not be judged, sir.

SLENDER
081: You'll not confess, you'll not confess.

SHALLOW
082: That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;
083: 'tis a good dog.

PAGE
084: A cur, sir.

SHALLOW
085: Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be
086: more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John
087: Falstaff here?

PAGE
088: Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good
089: office between you.

SIR HUGH EVANS
090: It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.

SHALLOW
091: He hath wronged me, Master Page.

PAGE
092: Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.

SHALLOW
093: If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that
094: so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he
095: hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert
096: Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged.

PAGE
097: Here comes Sir John.

Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL

FALSTAFF
098: Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king?

SHALLOW
099: Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and
100: broke open my lodge.

FALSTAFF
101: But not kissed your keeper's daughter?

SHALLOW
102: Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.

FALSTAFF
103: I will answer it straight; I have done all this.
104: That is now answered.

SHALLOW
105: The council shall know this.

FALSTAFF
106: 'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:
107: you'll be laughed at.

SIR HUGH EVANS
108: Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.

FALSTAFF
109: Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your
110: head: what matter have you against me?

SLENDER
111: Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;
112: and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,
113: Nym, and Pistol.

BARDOLPH
114: You Banbury cheese!

SLENDER
115: Ay, it is no matter.

PISTOL
116: How now, Mephostophilus!

SLENDER
117: Ay, it is no matter.

NYM
118: Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour.

SLENDER
119: Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?

SIR HUGH EVANS
120: Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is
121: three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that
122: is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is
123: myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,
124: lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

PAGE
125: We three, to hear it and end it between them.

SIR HUGH EVANS
126: Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-
127: book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with
128: as great discreetly as we can.

FALSTAFF
129: Pistol!

PISTOL
130: He hears with ears.

SIR HUGH EVANS
131: The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He
132: hears with ear'? why, it is affectations.

FALSTAFF
133: Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?

SLENDER
134: Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might
135: never come in mine own great chamber again else, of
136: seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward
137: shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two
138: pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

FALSTAFF
139: Is this true, Pistol?

SIR HUGH EVANS
140: No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

PISTOL
141: Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine,
142: I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
143: Word of denial in thy labras here!
144: Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest!

SLENDER
145: By these gloves, then, 'twas he.

NYM
146: Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say
147: 'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's
148: humour on me; that is the very note of it.

SLENDER
149: By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for
150: though I cannot remember what I did when you made me
151: drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.

FALSTAFF
152: What say you, Scarlet and John?

BARDOLPH
153: Why, sir, for my part I say the gentleman had drunk
154: himself out of his five sentences.

SIR HUGH EVANS
155: It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is!

BARDOLPH
156: And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and
157: so conclusions passed the careires.

SLENDER
158: Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no
159: matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again,
160: but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick:
161: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have
162: the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

SIR HUGH EVANS
163: So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.

FALSTAFF
164: You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE, following

PAGE
165: Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.

Exit ANNE PAGE

SLENDER
166: O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.

PAGE
167: How now, Mistress Ford!

FALSTAFF
168: Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met:
169: by your leave, good mistress.

Kisses her

PAGE
170: Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a
171: hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope
172: we shall drink down all unkindness.

Exeunt all except SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS

SLENDER
173: I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of
174: Songs and Sonnets here.
[Enter SIMPLE]
175: How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait
176: on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles
177: about you, have you?

SIMPLE
178: Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice
179: Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight
180: afore Michaelmas?

SHALLOW
181: Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with
182: you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a
183: tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh
184: here. Do you understand me?

SLENDER
185: Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so,
186: I shall do that that is reason.

SHALLOW
187: Nay, but understand me.

SLENDER
188: So I do, sir.

SIR HUGH EVANS
189: Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will
190: description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

SLENDER
191: Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray
192: you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his
193: country, simple though I stand here.

SIR HUGH EVANS
194: But that is not the question: the question is
195: concerning your marriage.

SHALLOW
196: Ay, there's the point, sir.

SIR HUGH EVANS
197: Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.

SLENDER
198: Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any
199: reasonable demands.

SIR HUGH EVANS
200: But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to
201: know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers
202: philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the
203: mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your
204: good will to the maid?

SHALLOW
205: Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?

SLENDER
206: I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that
207: would do reason.

SIR HUGH EVANS
208: Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak
209: possitable, if you can carry her your desires
210: towards her.

SHALLOW
211: That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?

SLENDER
212: I will do a greater thing than that, upon your
213: request, cousin, in any reason.

SHALLOW
214: Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do
215: is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?

SLENDER
216: I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there
217: be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may
218: decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are
219: married and have more occasion to know one another;
220: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt:
221: but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that
222: I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

SIR HUGH EVANS
223: It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in
224: the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our
225: meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good.

SHALLOW
226: Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

SLENDER
227: Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!

SHALLOW
228: Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
[Re-enter ANNE PAGE]
229: Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!

ANNE PAGE
230: The dinner is on the table; my father desires your
231: worships' company.

SHALLOW
232: I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.

SIR HUGH EVANS
233: Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.

Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR HUGH EVANS

ANNE PAGE
234: Will't please your worship to come in, sir?

SLENDER
235: No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

ANNE PAGE
236: The dinner attends you, sir.

SLENDER
237: I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,
238: sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my
239: cousin Shallow.
[Exit SIMPLE]
240: A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his
241: friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy
242: yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I
243: live like a poor gentleman born.

ANNE PAGE
244: I may not go in without your worship: they will not
245: sit till you come.

SLENDER
246: I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as
247: though I did.

ANNE PAGE
248: I pray you, sir, walk in.

SLENDER
249: I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised
250: my shin th' other day with playing at sword and
251: dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a
252: dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot
253: abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your
254: dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?

ANNE PAGE
255: I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

SLENDER
256: I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at
257: it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see
258: the bear loose, are you not?

ANNE PAGE
259: Ay, indeed, sir.

SLENDER
260: That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen
261: Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by
262: the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so
263: cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,
264: indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored
265: rough things.

Re-enter PAGE

PAGE
266: Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.

SLENDER
267: I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.

PAGE
268: By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.

SLENDER
269: Nay, pray you, lead the way.

PAGE
270: Come on, sir.

SLENDER
271: Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.

ANNE PAGE
272: Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.

SLENDER
273: I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.
274: You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!

Exeunt

ACT I, SCENE II.

The same.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE

SIR HUGH EVANS
001: Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which
002: is the way: and there dwells one Mistress Quickly,
003: which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry
004: nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and
005: his wringer.

SIMPLE
006: Well, sir.

SIR HUGH EVANS
007: Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it
008: is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with
009: Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire
010: and require her to solicit your master's desires to
011: Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will
012: make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.

Exeunt

ACT I, SCENE III.

A room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN

FALSTAFF
001: Mine host of the Garter!

Host
002: What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly and wisely.

FALSTAFF
003: Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my
004: followers.

Host
005: Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.

FALSTAFF
006: I sit at ten pounds a week.

Host
007: Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I
008: will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall
009: tap: said I well, bully Hector?

FALSTAFF
010: Do so, good mine host.

Host
011: I have spoke; let him follow.
[To BARDOLPH]
012: Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow.

Exit

FALSTAFF
013: Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade:
014: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered
015: serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.

BARDOLPH
016: It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive.

PISTOL
017: O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?

Exit BARDOLPH

NYM
018: He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited?

FALSTAFF
019: I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox: his
020: thefts were too open; his filching was like an
021: unskilful singer; he kept not time.

NYM
022: The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest.

PISTOL
023: 'Convey,' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! a fico
024: for the phrase!

FALSTAFF
025: Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.

PISTOL
026: Why, then, let kibes ensue.

FALSTAFF
027: There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.

PISTOL
028: Young ravens must have food.

FALSTAFF
029: Which of you know Ford of this town?

PISTOL
030: I ken the wight: he is of substance good.

FALSTAFF
031: My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

PISTOL
032: Two yards, and more.

FALSTAFF
033: No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two
034: yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about
035: thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's
036: wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses,
037: she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I
038: can construe the action of her familiar style; and
039: the hardest voice of her behavior, to be Englished
040: rightly, is, 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'

PISTOL
041: He hath studied her will, and translated her will,
042: out of honesty into English.

NYM
043: The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?

FALSTAFF
044: Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her
045: husband's purse: he hath a legion of angels.

PISTOL
046: As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I.

NYM
047: The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.

FALSTAFF
048: I have writ me here a letter to her: and here
049: another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good
050: eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious
051: oeillades; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my
052: foot, sometimes my portly belly.

PISTOL
053: Then did the sun on dunghill shine.

NYM
054: I thank thee for that humour.

FALSTAFF
055: O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a
056: greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did
057: seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's
058: another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she
059: is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will
060: be cheater to them both, and they shall be
061: exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West
062: Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou
063: this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to
064: Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive.

PISTOL
065: Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
066: And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!

NYM
067: I will run no base humour: here, take the
068: humour-letter: I will keep the havior of reputation.

FALSTAFF
069: [To ROBIN] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;
070: Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
071: Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;
072: Trudge, plod away o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!
073: Falstaff will learn the humour of the age,
074: French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted page.

Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN

PISTOL
075: Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,
076: And high and low beguiles the rich and poor:
077: Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
078: Base Phrygian Turk!

NYM
079: I have operations which be humours of revenge.

PISTOL
080: Wilt thou revenge?

NYM
081: By welkin and her star!

PISTOL
082: With wit or steel?

NYM
083: With both the humours, I:
084: I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.

PISTOL
085: And I to Ford shall eke unfold
086: How Falstaff, varlet vile,
087: His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
088: And his soft couch defile.

NYM
089: My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to
090: deal with poison; I will possess him with
091: yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous:
092: that is my true humour.

PISTOL
093: Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on.

Exeunt

ACT I, SCENE IV.

A room in DOCTOR CAIUS' house.

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY

MISTRESS QUICKLY
001: What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement,
002: and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor
003: Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find any
004: body in the house, here will be an old abusing of
005: God's patience and the king's English.

RUGBY
006: I'll go watch.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
007: Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in
008: faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.
[Exit RUGBY]
009: An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant
010: shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no
011: tell-tale nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is,
012: that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish
013: that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let
014: that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is?

SIMPLE
015: Ay, for fault of a better.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
016: And Master Slender's your master?

SIMPLE
017: Ay, forsooth.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
018: Does he not wear a great round beard, like a
019: glover's paring-knife?

SIMPLE
020: No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a
021: little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
022: A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

SIMPLE
023: Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands
024: as any is between this and his head; he hath fought
025: with a warrener.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
026: How say you? O, I should remember him: does he not
027: hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait?

SIMPLE
028: Yes, indeed, does he.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
029: Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell
030: Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your
031: master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish--

Re-enter RUGBY

RUGBY
032: Out, alas! here comes my master.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
033: We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man;
034: go into this closet: he will not stay long.
[Shuts SIMPLE in the closet]
035: What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say!
036: Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt
037: he be not well, that he comes not home.
[Singing]
038: And down, down, adown-a, &c.

Enter DOCTOR CAIUS

DOCTOR CAIUS
039: Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you,
040: go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box,
041: a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
042: Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you.
[Aside]
043: I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found
044: the young man, he would have been horn-mad.

DOCTOR CAIUS
045: Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je
046: m'en vais a la cour--la grande affaire.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
047: Is it this, sir?

DOCTOR CAIUS
048: Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, quickly. Vere
049: is dat knave Rugby?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
050: What, John Rugby! John!

RUGBY
051: Here, sir!

DOCTOR CAIUS
052: You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come,
053: take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.

RUGBY
054: 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

DOCTOR CAIUS
055: By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me!
056: Qu'ai-j'oublie! dere is some simples in my closet,
057: dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
058: Ay me, he'll find the young man here, and be mad!

DOCTOR CAIUS
059: O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villain! larron!
[Pulling SIMPLE out]
060: Rugby, my rapier!

MISTRESS QUICKLY
061: Good master, be content.

DOCTOR CAIUS
062: Wherefore shall I be content-a?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
063: The young man is an honest man.

DOCTOR CAIUS
064: What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is
065: no honest man dat shall come in my closet.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
066: I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth
067: of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.

DOCTOR CAIUS
068: Vell.

SIMPLE
069: Ay, forsooth; to desire her to--

MISTRESS QUICKLY
070: Peace, I pray you.

DOCTOR CAIUS
071: Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale.

SIMPLE
072: To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to
073: speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my
074: master in the way of marriage.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
075: This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my
076: finger in the fire, and need not.

DOCTOR CAIUS
077: Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper.
078: Tarry you a little-a while.

Writes

MISTRESS QUICKLY
079: [Aside to SIMPLE] I am glad he is so quiet: if he
080: had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him
081: so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding,
082: man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and
083: the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my
084: master,--I may call him my master, look you, for I
085: keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake,
086: scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds and do
087: all myself,--

SIMPLE
088: [Aside to MISTRESS QUICKLY] 'Tis a great charge to
089: come under one body's hand.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
090: [Aside to SIMPLE] Are you avised o' that? you
091: shall find it a great charge: and to be up early
092: and down late; but notwithstanding,--to tell you in
093: your ear; I would have no words of it,--my master
094: himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but
095: notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,--that's
096: neither here nor there.

DOCTOR CAIUS
097: You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by
098: gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in dee
099: park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest
100: to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good
101: you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two
102: stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw
103: at his dog:

Exit SIMPLE

MISTRESS QUICKLY
104: Alas, he speaks but for his friend.

DOCTOR CAIUS
105: It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me
106: dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I
107: vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine
108: host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I
109: will myself have Anne Page.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
110: Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We
111: must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer!

DOCTOR CAIUS
112: Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have
113: not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my
114: door. Follow my heels, Rugby.

Exeunt DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY

MISTRESS QUICKLY
115: You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I
116: know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor
117: knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more
118: than I do with her, I thank heaven.

FENTON
119: [Within] Who's within there? ho!

MISTRESS QUICKLY
120: Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you.

Enter FENTON

FENTON
121: How now, good woman? how dost thou?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
122: The better that it pleases your good worship to ask.

FENTON
123: What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
124: In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and
125: gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you
126: that by the way; I praise heaven for it.

FENTON
127: Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
128: Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but
129: notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a
130: book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart
131: above your eye?

FENTON
132: Yes, marry, have I; what of that?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
133: Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such
134: another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever
135: broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I
136: shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But
137: indeed she is given too much to allicholy and
138: musing: but for you--well, go to.

FENTON
139: Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money
140: for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if
141: thou seest her before me, commend me.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
142: Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your
143: worship more of the wart the next time we have
144: confidence; and of other wooers.

FENTON
145: Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
146: Farewell to your worship.
[Exit FENTON]
147: Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not;