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prologue

Warkworth. Before the castle

Enter RUMOUR, painted full of tongues

RUMOUR
001: Open your ears; for which of you will stop
002: The vent of hearing when loud Rumour speaks?
003: I, from the orient to the drooping west,
004: Making the wind my post-horse, still unfold
005: The acts commenced on this ball of earth:
006: Upon my tongues continual slanders ride,
007: The which in every language I pronounce,
008: Stuffing the ears of men with false reports.
009: I speak of peace, while covert enmity
010: Under the smile of safety wounds the world:
011: And who but Rumour, who but only I,
012: Make fearful musters and prepared defence,
013: Whiles the big year, swoln with some other grief,
014: Is thought with child by the stern tyrant war,
015: And no such matter? Rumour is a pipe
016: Blown by surmises, jealousies, conjectures
017: And of so easy and so plain a stop
018: That the blunt monster with uncounted heads,
019: The still-discordant wavering multitude,
020: Can play upon it. But what need I thus
021: My well-known body to anatomize
022: Among my household? Why is Rumour here?
023: I run before King Harry's victory;
024: Who in a bloody field by Shrewsbury
025: Hath beaten down young Hotspur and his troops,
026: Quenching the flame of bold rebellion
027: Even with the rebel's blood. But what mean I
028: To speak so true at first? my office is
029: To noise abroad that Harry Monmouth fell
030: Under the wrath of noble Hotspur's sword,
031: And that the king before the Douglas' rage
032: Stoop'd his anointed head as low as death.
033: This have I rumour'd through the peasant towns
034: Between that royal field of Shrewsbury
035: And this worm-eaten hold of ragged stone,
036: Where Hotspur's father, old Northumberland,
037: Lies crafty-sick: the posts come tiring on,
038: And not a man of them brings other news
039: Than they have learn'd of me: from Rumour's tongues
040: They bring smooth comforts false, worse than
041: true wrongs.

Exit

ACT I, SCENE I.

The same.

Enter LORD BARDOLPH

LORD BARDOLPH
001: Who keeps the gate here, ho?
[The Porter opens the gate]
002: Where is the earl?

Porter
003: What shall I say you are?

LORD BARDOLPH
004: Tell thou the earl
005: That the Lord Bardolph doth attend him here.

Porter
006: His lordship is walk'd forth into the orchard;
007: Please it your honour, knock but at the gate,
008: And he himself wilt answer.

Enter NORTHUMBERLAND

LORD BARDOLPH
009: Here comes the earl.

Exit Porter

NORTHUMBERLAND
010: What news, Lord Bardolph? every minute now
011: Should be the father of some stratagem:
012: The times are wild: contention, like a horse
013: Full of high feeding, madly hath broke loose
014: And bears down all before him.

LORD BARDOLPH
015: Noble earl,
016: I bring you certain news from Shrewsbury.

NORTHUMBERLAND
017: Good, an God will!

LORD BARDOLPH
018: As good as heart can wish:
019: The king is almost wounded to the death;
020: And, in the fortune of my lord your son,
021: Prince Harry slain outright; and both the Blunts
022: Kill'd by the hand of Douglas; young Prince John
023: And Westmoreland and Stafford fled the field;
024: And Harry Monmouth's brawn, the hulk Sir John,
025: Is prisoner to your son: O, such a day,
026: So fought, so follow'd and so fairly won,
027: Came not till now to dignify the times,
028: Since Caesar's fortunes!

NORTHUMBERLAND
029: How is this derived?
030: Saw you the field? came you from Shrewsbury?

LORD BARDOLPH
031: I spake with one, my lord, that came from thence,
032: A gentleman well bred and of good name,
033: That freely render'd me these news for true.

NORTHUMBERLAND
034: Here comes my servant Travers, whom I sent
035: On Tuesday last to listen after news.

Enter TRAVERS

LORD BARDOLPH
036: My lord, I over-rode him on the way;
037: And he is furnish'd with no certainties
038: More than he haply may retail from me.

NORTHUMBERLAND
039: Now, Travers, what good tidings comes with you?

TRAVERS
040: My lord, Sir John Umfrevile turn'd me back
041: With joyful tidings; and, being better horsed,
042: Out-rode me. After him came spurring hard
043: A gentleman, almost forspent with speed,
044: That stopp'd by me to breathe his bloodied horse.
045: He ask'd the way to Chester; and of him
046: I did demand what news from Shrewsbury:
047: He told me that rebellion had bad luck
048: And that young Harry Percy's spur was cold.
049: With that, he gave his able horse the head,
050: And bending forward struck his armed heels
051: Against the panting sides of his poor jade
052: Up to the rowel-head, and starting so
053: He seem'd in running to devour the way,
054: Staying no longer question.

NORTHUMBERLAND
055: Ha! Again:
056: Said he young Harry Percy's spur was cold?
057: Of Hotspur Coldspur? that rebellion
058: Had met ill luck?

LORD BARDOLPH
059: My lord, I'll tell you what;
060: If my young lord your son have not the day,
061: Upon mine honour, for a silken point
062: I'll give my barony: never talk of it.

NORTHUMBERLAND
063: Why should that gentleman that rode by Travers
064: Give then such instances of loss?

LORD BARDOLPH
065: Who, he?
066: He was some hilding fellow that had stolen
067: The horse he rode on, and, upon my life,
068: Spoke at a venture. Look, here comes more news.

Enter MORTON

NORTHUMBERLAND
069: Yea, this man's brow, like to a title-leaf,
070: Foretells the nature of a tragic volume:
071: So looks the strand whereon the imperious flood
072: Hath left a witness'd usurpation.
073: Say, Morton, didst thou come from Shrewsbury?

MORTON
074: I ran from Shrewsbury, my noble lord;
075: Where hateful death put on his ugliest mask
076: To fright our party.

NORTHUMBERLAND
077: How doth my son and brother?
078: Thou tremblest; and the whiteness in thy cheek
079: Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand.
080: Even such a man, so faint, so spiritless,
081: So dull, so dead in look, so woe-begone,
082: Drew Priam's curtain in the dead of night,
083: And would have told him half his Troy was burnt;
084: But Priam found the fire ere he his tongue,
085: And I my Percy's death ere thou report'st it.
086: This thou wouldst say, 'Your son did thus and thus;
087: Your brother thus: so fought the noble Douglas:'
088: Stopping my greedy ear with their bold deeds:
089: But in the end, to stop my ear indeed,
090: Thou hast a sigh to blow away this praise,
091: Ending with 'Brother, son, and all are dead.'

MORTON
092: Douglas is living, and your brother, yet;
093: But, for my lord your son--

NORTHUMBERLAND
094: Why, he is dead.
095: See what a ready tongue suspicion hath!
096: He that but fears the thing he would not know
097: Hath by instinct knowledge from others' eyes
098: That what he fear'd is chanced. Yet speak, Morton;
099: Tell thou an earl his divination lies,
100: And I will take it as a sweet disgrace
101: And make thee rich for doing me such wrong.

MORTON
102: You are too great to be by me gainsaid:
103: Your spirit is too true, your fears too certain.

NORTHUMBERLAND
104: Yet, for all this, say not that Percy's dead.
105: I see a strange confession in thine eye:
106: Thou shakest thy head and hold'st it fear or sin
107: To speak a truth. If he be slain, say so;
108: The tongue offends not that reports his death:
109: And he doth sin that doth belie the dead,
110: Not he which says the dead is not alive.
111: Yet the first bringer of unwelcome news
112: Hath but a losing office, and his tongue
113: Sounds ever after as a sullen bell,
114: Remember'd tolling a departing friend.

LORD BARDOLPH
115: I cannot think, my lord, your son is dead.

MORTON
116: I am sorry I should force you to believe
117: That which I would to God I had not seen;
118: But these mine eyes saw him in bloody state,
119: Rendering faint quittance, wearied and out-breathed,
120: To Harry Monmouth; whose swift wrath beat down
121: The never-daunted Percy to the earth,
122: From whence with life he never more sprung up.
123: In few, his death, whose spirit lent a fire
124: Even to the dullest peasant in his camp,
125: Being bruited once, took fire and heat away
126: From the best temper'd courage in his troops;
127: For from his metal was his party steel'd;
128: Which once in him abated, all the rest
129: Turn'd on themselves, like dull and heavy lead:
130: And as the thing that's heavy in itself,
131: Upon enforcement flies with greatest speed,
132: So did our men, heavy in Hotspur's loss,
133: Lend to this weight such lightness with their fear
134: That arrows fled not swifter toward their aim
135: Than did our soldiers, aiming at their safety,
136: Fly from the field. Then was the noble Worcester
137: Too soon ta'en prisoner; and that furious Scot,
138: The bloody Douglas, whose well-labouring sword
139: Had three times slain the appearance of the king,
140: 'Gan vail his stomach and did grace the shame
141: Of those that turn'd their backs, and in his flight,
142: Stumbling in fear, was took. The sum of all
143: Is that the king hath won, and hath sent out
144: A speedy power to encounter you, my lord,
145: Under the conduct of young Lancaster
146: And Westmoreland. This is the news at full.

NORTHUMBERLAND
147: For this I shall have time enough to mourn.
148: In poison there is physic; and these news,
149: Having been well, that would have made me sick,
150: Being sick, have in some measure made me well:
151: And as the wretch, whose fever-weaken'd joints,
152: Like strengthless hinges, buckle under life,
153: Impatient of his fit, breaks like a fire
154: Out of his keeper's arms, even so my limbs,
155: Weaken'd with grief, being now enraged with grief,
156: Are thrice themselves. Hence, therefore, thou nice crutch!
157: A scaly gauntlet now with joints of steel
158: Must glove this hand: and hence, thou sickly quoif!
159: Thou art a guard too wanton for the head
160: Which princes, flesh'd with conquest, aim to hit.
161: Now bind my brows with iron; and approach
162: The ragged'st hour that time and spite dare bring
163: To frown upon the enraged Northumberland!
164: Let heaven kiss earth! now let not Nature's hand
165: Keep the wild flood confined! let order die!
166: And let this world no longer be a stage
167: To feed contention in a lingering act;
168: But let one spirit of the first-born Cain
169: Reign in all bosoms, that, each heart being set
170: On bloody courses, the rude scene may end,
171: And darkness be the burier of the dead!

TRAVERS
172: This strained passion doth you wrong, my lord.

LORD BARDOLPH
173: Sweet earl, divorce not wisdom from your honour.

MORTON
174: The lives of all your loving complices
175: Lean on your health; the which, if you give o'er
176: To stormy passion, must perforce decay.
177: You cast the event of war, my noble lord,
178: And summ'd the account of chance, before you said
179: 'Let us make head.' It was your presurmise,
180: That, in the dole of blows, your son might drop:
181: You knew he walk'd o'er perils, on an edge,
182: More likely to fall in than to get o'er;
183: You were advised his flesh was capable
184: Of wounds and scars and that his forward spirit
185: Would lift him where most trade of danger ranged:
186: Yet did you say 'Go forth;' and none of this,
187: Though strongly apprehended, could restrain
188: The stiff-borne action: what hath then befallen,
189: Or what hath this bold enterprise brought forth,
190: More than that being which was like to be?

LORD BARDOLPH
191: We all that are engaged to this loss
192: Knew that we ventured on such dangerous seas
193: That if we wrought our life 'twas ten to one;
194: And yet we ventured, for the gain proposed
195: Choked the respect of likely peril fear'd;
196: And since we are o'erset, venture again.
197: Come, we will all put forth, body and goods.

MORTON
198: 'Tis more than time: and, my most noble lord,
199: I hear for certain, and do speak the truth,
200: The gentle Archbishop of York is up
201: With well-appointed powers: he is a man
202: Who with a double surety binds his followers.
203: My lord your son had only but the corpse,
204: But shadows and the shows of men, to fight;
205: For that same word, rebellion, did divide
206: The action of their bodies from their souls;
207: And they did fight with queasiness, constrain'd,
208: As men drink potions, that their weapons only
209: Seem'd on our side; but, for their spirits and souls,
210: This word, rebellion, it had froze them up,
211: As fish are in a pond. But now the bishop
212: Turns insurrection to religion:
213: Supposed sincere and holy in his thoughts,
214: He's followed both with body and with mind;
215: And doth enlarge his rising with the blood
216: Of fair King Richard, scraped from Pomfret stones;
217: Derives from heaven his quarrel and his cause;
218: Tells them he doth bestride a bleeding land,
219: Gasping for life under great Bolingbroke;
220: And more and less do flock to follow him.

NORTHUMBERLAND
221: I knew of this before; but, to speak truth,
222: This present grief had wiped it from my mind.
223: Go in with me; and counsel every man
224: The aptest way for safety and revenge:
225: Get posts and letters, and make friends with speed:
226: Never so few, and never yet more need.

Exeunt

ACT I, SCENE II.

London. A street.

Enter FALSTAFF, with his Page bearing his sword and buckler

FALSTAFF
001: Sirrah, you giant, what says the doctor to my water?

Page
002: He said, sir, the water itself was a good healthy
003: water; but, for the party that owed it, he might
004: have more diseases than he knew for.

FALSTAFF
005: Men of all sorts take a pride to gird at me: the
006: brain of this foolish-compounded clay, man, is not
007: able to invent anything that tends to laughter, more
008: than I invent or is invented on me: I am not only
009: witty in myself, but the cause that wit is in other
010: men. I do here walk before thee like a sow that
011: hath overwhelmed all her litter but one. If the
012: prince put thee into my service for any other reason
013: than to set me off, why then I have no judgment.
014: Thou whoreson mandrake, thou art fitter to be worn
015: in my cap than to wait at my heels. I was never
016: manned with an agate till now: but I will inset you
017: neither in gold nor silver, but in vile apparel, and
018: send you back again to your master, for a jewel,--
019: the juvenal, the prince your master, whose chin is
020: not yet fledged. I will sooner have a beard grow in
021: the palm of my hand than he shall get one on his
022: cheek; and yet he will not stick to say his face is
023: a face-royal: God may finish it when he will, 'tis
024: not a hair amiss yet: he may keep it still at a
025: face-royal, for a barber shall never earn sixpence
026: out of it; and yet he'll be crowing as if he had
027: writ man ever since his father was a bachelor. He
028: may keep his own grace, but he's almost out of mine,
029: I can assure him. What said Master Dombledon about
030: the satin for my short cloak and my slops?

Page
031: He said, sir, you should procure him better
032: assurance than Bardolph: he would not take his
033: band and yours; he liked not the security.

FALSTAFF
034: Let him be damned, like the glutton! pray God his
035: tongue be hotter! A whoreson Achitophel! a rascally
036: yea-forsooth knave! to bear a gentleman in hand,
037: and then stand upon security! The whoreson
038: smooth-pates do now wear nothing but high shoes, and
039: bunches of keys at their girdles; and if a man is
040: through with them in honest taking up, then they
041: must stand upon security. I had as lief they would
042: put ratsbane in my mouth as offer to stop it with
043: security. I looked a' should have sent me two and
044: twenty yards of satin, as I am a true knight, and he
045: sends me security. Well, he may sleep in security;
046: for he hath the horn of abundance, and the lightness
047: of his wife shines through it: and yet cannot he
048: see, though he have his own lanthorn to light him.
049: Where's Bardolph?

Page
050: He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worship a horse.

FALSTAFF
051: I bought him in Paul's, and he'll buy me a horse in
052: Smithfield: an I could get me but a wife in the
053: stews, I were manned, horsed, and wived.

Enter the Lord Chief-Justice and Servant

Page
054: Sir, here comes the nobleman that committed the
055: Prince for striking him about Bardolph.

FALSTAFF
056: Wait, close; I will not see him.

Lord Chief-Justice
057: What's he that goes there?

Servant
058: Falstaff, an't please your lordship.

Lord Chief-Justice
059: He that was in question for the robbery?

Servant
060: He, my lord: but he hath since done good service at
061: Shrewsbury; and, as I hear, is now going with some
062: charge to the Lord John of Lancaster.

Lord Chief-Justice
063: What, to York? Call him back again.

Servant
064: Sir John Falstaff!

FALSTAFF
065: Boy, tell him I am deaf.

Page
066: You must speak louder; my master is deaf.

Lord Chief-Justice
067: I am sure he is, to the hearing of any thing good.
068: Go, pluck him by the elbow; I must speak with him.

Servant
069: Sir John!

FALSTAFF
070: What! a young knave, and begging! Is there not
071: wars? is there not employment? doth not the king
072: lack subjects? do not the rebels need soldiers?
073: Though it be a shame to be on any side but one, it
074: is worse shame to beg than to be on the worst side,
075: were it worse than the name of rebellion can tell
076: how to make it.

Servant
077: You mistake me, sir.

FALSTAFF
078: Why, sir, did I say you were an honest man? setting
079: my knighthood and my soldiership aside, I had lied
080: in my throat, if I had said so.

Servant
081: I pray you, sir, then set your knighthood and our
082: soldiership aside; and give me leave to tell you,
083: you lie in your throat, if you say I am any other
084: than an honest man.

FALSTAFF
085: I give thee leave to tell me so! I lay aside that
086: which grows to me! if thou gettest any leave of me,
087: hang me; if thou takest leave, thou wert better be
088: hanged. You hunt counter: hence! avaunt!

Servant
089: Sir, my lord would speak with you.

Lord Chief-Justice
090: Sir John Falstaff, a word with you.

FALSTAFF
091: My good lord! God give your lordship good time of
092: day. I am glad to see your lordship abroad: I heard
093: say your lordship was sick: I hope your lordship
094: goes abroad by advice. Your lordship, though not
095: clean past your youth, hath yet some smack of age in
096: you, some relish of the saltness of time; and I must
097: humbly beseech your lordship to have a reverent care
098: of your health.

Lord Chief-Justice
099: Sir John, I sent for you before your expedition to
100: Shrewsbury.

FALSTAFF
101: An't please your lordship, I hear his majesty is
102: returned with some discomfort from Wales.

Lord Chief-Justice
103: I talk not of his majesty: you would not come when
104: I sent for you.

FALSTAFF
105: And I hear, moreover, his highness is fallen into
106: this same whoreson apoplexy.

Lord Chief-Justice
107: Well, God mend him! I pray you, let me speak with
108: you.

FALSTAFF
109: This apoplexy is, as I take it, a kind of lethargy,
110: an't please your lordship; a kind of sleeping in the
111: blood, a whoreson tingling.

Lord Chief-Justice
112: What tell you me of it? be it as it is.

FALSTAFF
113: It hath its original from much grief, from study and
114: perturbation of the brain: I have read the cause of
115: his effects in Galen: it is a kind of deafness.

Lord Chief-Justice
116: I think you are fallen into the disease; for you
117: hear not what I say to you.

FALSTAFF
118: Very well, my lord, very well: rather, an't please
119: you, it is the disease of not listening, the malady
120: of not marking, that I am troubled withal.

Lord Chief-Justice
121: To punish you by the heels would amend the
122: attention of your ears; and I care not if I do
123: become your physician.

FALSTAFF
124: I am as poor as Job, my lord, but not so patient:
125: your lordship may minister the potion of
126: imprisonment to me in respect of poverty; but how
127: should I be your patient to follow your
128: prescriptions, the wise may make some dram of a
129: scruple, or indeed a scruple itself.

Lord Chief-Justice
130: I sent for you, when there were matters against you
131: for your life, to come speak with me.

FALSTAFF
132: As I was then advised by my learned counsel in the
133: laws of this land-service, I did not come.

Lord Chief-Justice
134: Well, the truth is, Sir John, you live in great infamy.

FALSTAFF
135: He that buckles him in my belt cannot live in less.

Lord Chief-Justice
136: Your means are very slender, and your waste is great.

FALSTAFF
137: I would it were otherwise; I would my means were
138: greater, and my waist slenderer.

Lord Chief-Justice
139: You have misled the youthful prince.

FALSTAFF
140: The young prince hath misled me: I am the fellow
141: with the great belly, and he my dog.

Lord Chief-Justice
142: Well, I am loath to gall a new-healed wound: your
143: day's service at Shrewsbury hath a little gilded
144: over your night's exploit on Gad's-hill: you may
145: thank the unquiet time for your quiet o'er-posting
146: that action.

FALSTAFF
147: My lord?

Lord Chief-Justice
148: But since all is well, keep it so: wake not a
149: sleeping wolf.

FALSTAFF
150: To wake a wolf is as bad as to smell a fox.

Lord Chief-Justice
151: What! you are as a candle, the better part burnt
152: out.

FALSTAFF
153: A wassail candle, my lord, all tallow: if I did say
154: of wax, my growth would approve the truth.

Lord Chief-Justice
155: There is not a white hair on your face but should
156: have his effect of gravity.

FALSTAFF
157: His effect of gravy, gravy, gravy.

Lord Chief-Justice
158: You follow the young prince up and down, like his
159: ill angel.

FALSTAFF
160: Not so, my lord; your ill angel is light; but I hope
161: he that looks upon me will take me without weighing:
162: and yet, in some respects, I grant, I cannot go: I
163: cannot tell. Virtue is of so little regard in these
164: costermonger times that true valour is turned
165: bear-herd: pregnancy is made a tapster, and hath
166: his quick wit wasted in giving reckonings: all the
167: other gifts appertinent to man, as the malice of
168: this age shapes them, are not worth a gooseberry.
169: You that are old consider not the capacities of us
170: that are young; you do measure the heat of our
171: livers with the bitterness of your galls: and we
172: that are in the vaward of our youth, I must confess,
173: are wags too.

Lord Chief-Justice
174: Do you set down your name in the scroll of youth,
175: that are written down old with all the characters of
176: age? Have you not a moist eye? a dry hand? a
177: yellow cheek? a white beard? a decreasing leg? an
178: increasing belly? is not your voice broken? your
179: wind short? your chin double? your wit single? and
180: every part about you blasted with antiquity? and
181: will you yet call yourself young? Fie, fie, fie, Sir John!

FALSTAFF
182: My lord, I was born about three of the clock in the
183: afternoon, with a white head and something a round
184: belly. For my voice, I have lost it with halloing
185: and singing of anthems. To approve my youth
186: further, I will not: the truth is, I am only old in
187: judgment and understanding; and he that will caper
188: with me for a thousand marks, let him lend me the
189: money, and have at him! For the box of the ear that
190: the prince gave you, he gave it like a rude prince,
191: and you took it like a sensible lord. I have
192: chequed him for it, and the young lion repents;
193: marry, not in ashes and sackcloth, but in new silk
194: and old sack.

Lord Chief-Justice
195: Well, God send the prince a better companion!

FALSTAFF
196: God send the companion a better prince! I cannot
197: rid my hands of him.

Lord Chief-Justice
198: Well, the king hath severed you and Prince Harry: I
199: hear you are going with Lord John of Lancaster
200: against the Archbishop and the Earl of
201: Northumberland.

FALSTAFF
202: Yea; I thank your pretty sweet wit for it. But look
203: you pray, all you that kiss my lady Peace at home,
204: that our armies join not in a hot day; for, by the
205: Lord, I take but two shirts out with me, and I mean
206: not to sweat extraordinarily: if it be a hot day,
207: and I brandish any thing but a bottle, I would I
208: might never spit white again. There is not a
209: dangerous action can peep out his head but I am
210: thrust upon it: well, I cannot last ever: but it
211: was alway yet the trick of our English nation, if
212: they have a good thing, to make it too common. If
213: ye will needs say I am an old man, you should give
214: me rest. I would to God my name were not so
215: terrible to the enemy as it is: I were better to be
216: eaten to death with a rust than to be scoured to
217: nothing with perpetual motion.

Lord Chief-Justice
218: Well, be honest, be honest; and God bless your
219: expedition!

FALSTAFF
220: Will your lordship lend me a thousand pound to
221: furnish me forth?

Lord Chief-Justice
222: Not a penny, not a penny; you are too impatient to
223: bear crosses. Fare you well: commend me to my
224: cousin Westmoreland.

Exeunt Chief-Justice and Servant

FALSTAFF
225: If I do, fillip me with a three-man beetle. A man
226: can no more separate age and covetousness than a'
227: can part young limbs and lechery: but the gout
228: galls the one, and the pox pinches the other; and
229: so both the degrees prevent my curses. Boy!

Page
230: Sir?

FALSTAFF
231: What money is in my purse?

Page
232: Seven groats and two pence.

FALSTAFF
233: I can get no remedy against this consumption of the
234: purse: borrowing only lingers and lingers it out,
235: but the disease is incurable. Go bear this letter
236: to my Lord of Lancaster; this to the prince; this
237: to the Earl of Westmoreland; and this to old
238: Mistress Ursula, whom I have weekly sworn to marry
239: since I perceived the first white hair on my chin.
240: About it: you know where to find me.
[Exit Page]
241: A pox of this gout! or, a gout of this pox! for
242: the one or the other plays the rogue with my great
243: toe. 'Tis no matter if I do halt; I have the wars
244: for my colour, and my pension shall seem the more
245: reasonable. A good wit will make use of any thing:
246: I will turn diseases to commodity.

Exit

ACT I, SCENE III.

York. The Archbishop's palace.

Enter the ARCHBISHOP OF YORK, the Lords HASTINGS, MOWBRAY, and BARDOLPH

ARCHBISHOP OF YORK
001: Thus have you heard our cause and known our means;
002: And, my most noble friends, I pray you all,
003: Speak plainly your opinions of our hopes:
004: And first, lord marshal, what say you to it?

MOWBRAY
005: I well allow the occasion of our arms;
006: But gladly would be better satisfied
007: How in our means we should advance ourselves
008: To look with forehead bold and big enough
009: Upon the power and puissance of the king.

HASTINGS
010: Our present musters grow upon the file
011: To five and twenty thousand men of choice;
012: And our supplies live largely in the hope
013: Of great Northumberland, whose bosom burns
014: With an incensed fire of injuries.

LORD BARDOLPH
015: The question then, Lord Hastings, standeth thus;
016: Whether our present five and twenty thousand
017: May hold up head without Northumberland?

HASTINGS
018: With him, we may.

LORD BARDOLPH
019: Yea, marry, there's the point:
020: But if without him we be thought too feeble,
021: My judgment is, we should not step too far
022: Till we had his assistance by the hand;
023: For in a theme so bloody-faced as this
024: Conjecture, expectation, and surmise
025: Of aids incertain should not be admitted.

ARCHBISHOP OF YORK
026: 'Tis very true, Lord Bardolph; for indeed
027: It was young Hotspur's case at Shrewsbury.

LORD BARDOLPH
028: It was, my lord; who lined himself with hope,
029: Eating the air on promise of supply,
030: Flattering himself in project of a power
031: Much smaller than the smallest of his thoughts:
032: And so, with great imagination
033: Proper to madmen, led his powers to death
034: And winking leap'd into destruction.

HASTINGS
035: But, by your leave, it never yet did hurt
036: To lay down likelihoods and forms of hope.

LORD BARDOLPH
037: Yes, if this present quality of war,
038: Indeed the instant action: a cause on foot
039: Lives so in hope as in an early spring
040: We see the appearing buds; which to prove fruit,
041: Hope gives not so much warrant as despair
042: That frosts will bite them. When we mean to build,
043: We first survey the plot, then draw the model;
044: And when we see the figure of the house,
045: Then must we rate the cost of the erection;
046: Which if we find outweighs ability,
047: What do we then but draw anew the model
048: In fewer offices, or at last desist
049: To build at all? Much more, in this great work,
050: Which is almost to pluck a kingdom down
051: And set another up, should we survey
052: The plot of situation and the model,
053: Consent upon a sure foundation,
054: Question surveyors, know our own estate,
055: How able such a work to undergo,
056: To weigh against his opposite; or else
057: We fortify in paper and in figures,
058: Using the names of men instead of men:
059: Like one that draws the model of a house
060: Beyond his power to build it; who, half through,
061: Gives o'er and leaves his part-created cost
062: A naked subject to the weeping clouds
063: And waste for churlish winter's tyranny.

HASTINGS
064: Grant that our hopes, yet likely of fair birth,
065: Should be still-born, and that we now possess'd
066: The utmost man of expectation,
067: I think we are a body strong enough,
068: Even as we are, to equal with the king.

LORD BARDOLPH
069: What, is the king but five and twenty thousand?

HASTINGS
070: To us no more; nay, not so much, Lord Bardolph.
071: For his divisions, as the times do brawl,
072: Are in three heads: one power against the French,
073: And one against Glendower; perforce a third
074: Must take up us: so is the unfirm king
075: In three divided; and his coffers sound
076: With hollow poverty and emptiness.

ARCHBISHOP OF YORK
077: That he should draw his several strengths together
078: And come against us in full puissance,
079: Need not be dreaded.

HASTINGS
080: If he should do so,
081: He leaves his back unarm'd, the French and Welsh
082: Baying him at the heels: never fear that.

LORD BARDOLPH
083: Who is it like should lead his forces hither?

HASTINGS
084: The Duke of Lancaster and Westmoreland;
085: Against the Welsh, himself and Harry Monmouth:
086: But who is substituted 'gainst the French,
087: I have no certain notice.

ARCHBISHOP OF YORK
088: Let us on,
089: And publish the occasion of our arms.
090: The commonwealth is sick of their own choice;
091: Their over-greedy love hath surfeited:
092: An habitation giddy and unsure
093: Hath he that buildeth on the vulgar heart.
094: O thou fond many, with what loud applause
095: Didst thou beat heaven with blessing Bolingbroke,
096: Before he was what thou wouldst have him be!
097: And being now trimm'd in thine own desires,
098: Thou, beastly feeder, art so full of him,
099: That thou provokest thyself to cast him up.
100: So, so, thou common dog, didst thou disgorge
101: Thy glutton bosom of the royal Richard;
102: And now thou wouldst eat thy dead vomit up,
103: And howl'st to find it. What trust is in
104: these times?
105: They that, when Richard lived, would have him die,
106: Are now become enamour'd on his grave:
107: Thou, that threw'st dust upon his goodly head
108: When through proud London he came sighing on
109: After the admired heels of Bolingbroke,
110: Criest now 'O earth, yield us that king again,
111: And take thou this!' O thoughts of men accursed!
112: Past and to come seems best; things present worst.

MOWBRAY
113: Shall we go draw our numbers and set on?

HASTINGS
114: We are time's subjects, and time bids be gone.

Exeunt

ACT II, SCENE I.

London. A street.

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, FANG and his Boy with her, and SNARE following.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
001: Master Fang, have you entered the action?

FANG
002: It is entered.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
003: Where's your yeoman? Is't a lusty yeoman?
004: Will a' stand to 't?

FANG
005: Sirrah, where's Snare?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
006: O Lord, ay! good Master Snare.

SNARE
007: Here, here.

FANG
008: Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
009: Yea, good Master Snare; I have entered him
010: and all.

SNARE
011: It may chance cost some of us our lives, for
012: he will stab.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
013: Alas the day! take heed of him; he stabbed
014: me in mine own house, and that most beastly: in good faith, he
015: cares not what mischief he does. If his weapon be
016: out: he will foin like any devil; he will spare neither
017: man, woman, nor child.

FANG
018: If I can close with him, I care not for his
019: thrust.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
020: No, nor I neither: I'll be at your elbow.

FANG
021: An I but fist him once; an a' come but
022: within my vice,--

MISTRESS QUICKLY
023: I am undone by his going; I warrant you,
024: he's an infinitive thing upon my score. Good Master
025: Fang, hold him sure: good Master Snare, let him
026: not 'scape. A' comes continuantly to Pie-corner
027: --saving your manhoods--to buy a saddle; and he is
028: indited to dinner to the Lubber's-head in Lumbert
029: street, to Master Smooth's the silkman: I pray ye,
030: since my exion is entered and my case so openly
031: known to the world, let him be brought in to his
032: answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a poor lone
033: woman to bear: and I have borne, and borne, and
034: borne, and have been fubbed off, and fubbed off, and
035: fubbed off, from this day to that day, that it is a
036: shame to be thought on. There is no honesty in such
037: dealing; unless a woman should be made an ass and a
038: beast, to bear every knave's wrong.
039: Yonder he comes; and that errant malmsey-nose knave,
040: Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your